So let's look at billboard for a sec here...
Katy Perry is in the number one spot. I'm not surprised. She's generally liked. Party Rock is sitting strong at #2 and I have no qualms with this.
Looking down the list. Wait... Britney Spears is still in the top ten? Are we still in the 90s? What is this? I thought we were done with her after the multiple children and the shitty falling out of her marriage. Don't get me wrong, I like the fact that a pop star can have kids, but I still can't respect Britney.
Oh gosh, Lady Gaga is still up there. Does anyone remember her last big hit, Born this way? It's so bad. I guess once you prove that you can sing about wanting anal sex without any of your fan base noticing, you no longer have to care what you're singing about.
Born this way is a badly written song. So let's start at the beginning. How many just decided that they believe in g-d the moment that heard this song? It's very un-subtle about this topic. Things that it is subtle about:
- People from Asia are "Orients"
- "Chola" is the new word for Latina descent
- Gay guys who dress up as women are a "drag" and should stop being so
- Lesbian is separate and different from gay
- There is nothing wrong with you and you should never stride to improve!
Some of these are arguable, but I'm going to start with what I find the most offensive. "Chola." This is the term for a Latina gang member. This is not an endearing term. This is not something that any woman should want to be called. (also, subtext here is that if you're a man you don't matter, but since Lady Gaga's audience is mostly female this point is less important.) Basically, why is she using this terrible terminology for something that could have been much less offensive with one more syllable?
You could argue that calling Asians "Orient" instead of "Oriental" is not as bad, but that's akin to saying that you're calling me a turd instead of a shit, when I'd rather you call me neither.
The point that she's calling people who dress in drag is a little less enforceable, but I do find it funny that she says, "Don't be a drag - Just be a queen." 3 times and then says, "Don't be!" Really, she should have left out this last line. Even if it isn't telling people not to be drag queens by resoundingly saying "Don't be" it's very easy to misinterpret it as such, and therefore should have been avoided.
Then there's the overarching theme that you should not try to improve. "We are all born superstars," so why even put in the effort to improve your skills? I rage at this so hard that I don't even know how to put it into words. Hard work is often more times more important than innate skill. But this song spins it in an entirely different way.
Lastly, to address the less subtle idea in the song, g-d has made us all the way we are. Good job making an entire decade of preteens and teens into bible-thumpers. I never thought I would hear a pop fan tell me that I was made in g-d's image and that I was disgracing him by not believing in myself. Also, why is Gaga advocating the idea of a male g-d? This idea seems like it is against one of her central ideological pillars.
So, to be strictly clear, I don't think Lady Gaga is a bad singer. In fact, she brought herself into stardom from relatively little. I respect this. However, she can't say that a lot of hard work and a little bit of luck didn't also contribute. Also, don't have an unnatural hair color when telling your fans that you were born this way. Hair dye is completely artificial. I have nothing against hair dye. Actually, I like hair dye. I was planning on bleaching my hair again this coming school year, but I'm very unmotivated. The point is, I think you should recognize the unnatural aspects and address them in order to not sound like a hypocrite.
And now to bash a song that I actually really like. The Cave is probably one of the better songs out right now, but lyricists seem to give less and less of a shit daily. This isn't a nostalgia rant, because Sage Francis is very recent, but his lyrics are incredible. Instead, this is a rant aimed at pop and pop rock lyrics. The Cave upset me because I listened to it and thought it was a song about empowerment. Then I looked up the lyrics and saw "And I won't let you choke; On the noose around your neck." For those who were slow to pick up on what I'm talking about, when I first heard the song I thought it said that I will let you choke on the noose around your neck. This changed the song from being about empowerment to being about kindness. It took one word to change the message of the song. I will continue to sing the song the way I hear it, because I like my message more. At least, it's more unique in this industry than one about kindness and acceptance. Also, it fits the rest of the song better.
Well, I got distracted from the top 100 list. Nothing else pops out at me. Maybe Cobra Starship and Black Eyed Peas. I don't recognize most of these names. How out of touch with current culture am I? Or maybe I'm just more critical of it... Oh, ET by Katy Perry at 32. A friend recently pointed out that this song romanticizes rape, but that's not my rant, it's her's. And then the Lazy song at 34. I like Bruno Mars. Avril Lavigne is still relevant? She's at #73.
Where's Aloe Blacc? Well, even though Billboard doesn't have it, I can still leave you with good music.
Showing posts with label interest. Show all posts
Showing posts with label interest. Show all posts
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Tacit Knowledge
In class today there was a discussion about tacit knowledge. In case you don't want to Google search it or look it up on Wikipedia, tacit knowledge is basically a synonym for experience. The discussion we had in class was on tacit knowledge was really necessary. Basically, we asked if everything needs to be learned through experience, or if we could possibly do anything right the first time we try by using a rule set. We consensus was that, while it may be possible write down an all encompassing rule set, it wouldn't be terribly easy.
Now, the conclusion wasn't as interesting to me as the way that some of my classmates argued it was. The discussion was based on whether or not tacit knowledge was necessary. I said it wouldn't, because robots can't be built on tacit knowledge. They always work on rule sets. However, they can learn rule sets strong enough to walk over rough and uneven terrain. Why wouldn't they be able to use genetic algorithms to create rule sets for any given task? My classmates said that this would be tacit knowledge.
I want to clarify this for a second here. We had a definition for what a term is. Then I made a claim that we don't need anything by that definition. Then, the classmate said that his definition actually included the attributes that I said lied outside of the definition. He cited the change in rule set as it still being tacit knowledge. However, tacit only means that it is knowledge that can't be shown as a rule set, and not that the rule set it can be shown as cannot change. If the rule set cannot change, then all knowledge would have to be tacit. We are always finding new smaller additions and changes to the sets of rules that we hold dear. Yet, these changes don't invalidate the old rules. The only justify them. Isaac Asimov wrote an incredible read on "The Relativity of Wrong." Really, everyone should go read it. However, it's only tangentially related to this discussion, so I won't go off on another rant about that.
I just want to know how often this tactic is used in arguments. Do classmates always attack the definitions in order to prove the points that they like? It seems like a bad practice. I suppose if it was more prevalent, then I would have noticed it before now. I'm just rather upset that my classmate believed he had pulled off his argument sufficiently. In fact, I believe that he may have convinced part of the class. This really upsets me. Also, it upsets me that I'm not sure if I won. Even if my logic followed much more soundly than his, I haven't actually achieved anything if no one has changed their mind.
I don't believe that it was my job to change his mind. However, I want him to follow logical conclusions. I believe that rule sets can compensate for experience. We can give robots the capacity to learn and write rule sets. We can take those rule sets and put them in other robots. And the most important point is that those robots, having had no experience, we perform just as well as the primary robot. I believe all knowledge is recordable, and can be re-written. Just because us humans are bad at projecting knowledge, does not mean that the knowledge we possess, or knowledge in general, cannot be projected. The world can be changed by us. We only have to step back and realize that we may not be able to use personal abilities to do so.
Though I suppose we can't really know that unless we experience it. According to my fellow classmates we will need tacit knowledge of creatures smarter than we are, in order to truly understand that not only things that humans can do are possible actions.
Now, the conclusion wasn't as interesting to me as the way that some of my classmates argued it was. The discussion was based on whether or not tacit knowledge was necessary. I said it wouldn't, because robots can't be built on tacit knowledge. They always work on rule sets. However, they can learn rule sets strong enough to walk over rough and uneven terrain. Why wouldn't they be able to use genetic algorithms to create rule sets for any given task? My classmates said that this would be tacit knowledge.
I want to clarify this for a second here. We had a definition for what a term is. Then I made a claim that we don't need anything by that definition. Then, the classmate said that his definition actually included the attributes that I said lied outside of the definition. He cited the change in rule set as it still being tacit knowledge. However, tacit only means that it is knowledge that can't be shown as a rule set, and not that the rule set it can be shown as cannot change. If the rule set cannot change, then all knowledge would have to be tacit. We are always finding new smaller additions and changes to the sets of rules that we hold dear. Yet, these changes don't invalidate the old rules. The only justify them. Isaac Asimov wrote an incredible read on "The Relativity of Wrong." Really, everyone should go read it. However, it's only tangentially related to this discussion, so I won't go off on another rant about that.
I just want to know how often this tactic is used in arguments. Do classmates always attack the definitions in order to prove the points that they like? It seems like a bad practice. I suppose if it was more prevalent, then I would have noticed it before now. I'm just rather upset that my classmate believed he had pulled off his argument sufficiently. In fact, I believe that he may have convinced part of the class. This really upsets me. Also, it upsets me that I'm not sure if I won. Even if my logic followed much more soundly than his, I haven't actually achieved anything if no one has changed their mind.
I don't believe that it was my job to change his mind. However, I want him to follow logical conclusions. I believe that rule sets can compensate for experience. We can give robots the capacity to learn and write rule sets. We can take those rule sets and put them in other robots. And the most important point is that those robots, having had no experience, we perform just as well as the primary robot. I believe all knowledge is recordable, and can be re-written. Just because us humans are bad at projecting knowledge, does not mean that the knowledge we possess, or knowledge in general, cannot be projected. The world can be changed by us. We only have to step back and realize that we may not be able to use personal abilities to do so.
Though I suppose we can't really know that unless we experience it. According to my fellow classmates we will need tacit knowledge of creatures smarter than we are, in order to truly understand that not only things that humans can do are possible actions.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Falling Out
I'm confused. I never thought that losing a friend would feel bad. I thought it would just be a little missed opportunity that could be picked up again later. But what if I actually messed up? No. This isn't a what if. I messed up.
The difference though, is that a SO relationship only has a limited number of tries. Friendship is not quite the same. Since so many people can share it with so many other people, you can try it as much as both parties are willing to. However, that means that this shot depends on if the other person is willing to be my friend.
Usually this wouldn't be an issue. I'm super awesome, I make friends easily. It's just that when you hurt a person, they have to think for a second before they give you that chance again. I think it shows patience, and if they accept, exactly the kind of person that you should never hurt again.
So anyways. I feel like I shouldn't get so sentimental about a friendship, but that's kind of the person that I am. So anyways... I'm gonna go back to working out those relationship fuck ups I've gotten myself into... Hopefully it'll all turn out for the better.
The difference though, is that a SO relationship only has a limited number of tries. Friendship is not quite the same. Since so many people can share it with so many other people, you can try it as much as both parties are willing to. However, that means that this shot depends on if the other person is willing to be my friend.
Usually this wouldn't be an issue. I'm super awesome, I make friends easily. It's just that when you hurt a person, they have to think for a second before they give you that chance again. I think it shows patience, and if they accept, exactly the kind of person that you should never hurt again.
So anyways. I feel like I shouldn't get so sentimental about a friendship, but that's kind of the person that I am. So anyways... I'm gonna go back to working out those relationship fuck ups I've gotten myself into... Hopefully it'll all turn out for the better.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Sexual Psychology
Why do people always get so angry with me when I say that sexual orientation is a nurture thing? It wouldn't make sense for it to be a hard genetic trait, or homosexuals would die off, and they would do so even more quickly if more homosexuals are open and less likely to have a child with a cover-up spouse. This means that homosexual rights activists who believe that this trait is nature and advocate more openness are actively diminishing the homosexual population.
Okay. Homosexuality could also be a harder to define trait. It could be less like blue eyes and more like what kind of job or career a person would want to do when they grow up. This still means that being homosexual would thin out the more that people are sexually open. It wouldn't completely kill off homosexuals, but advocating open homosexuality would be akin, in my mind, to telling people of a certain race that they are no longer allowed to reproduce.
This is why I feel that I have to believe that homosexuality is nurture. Maybe it is just to satisfy myself, but I want homosexuals to be as open as they want to be, without any chance that this could be killing a community.
Also, I would like to clarify that nurture does not mean that something is a choice. It doesn't even mean that it can be prevented. What it does mean is that gender roles aren't taught as strongly as they used to be and people are more likely to accept whatever a person shows the world, so whatever you are attracted to is much easier to accept.
I want you to think about every trait that defines who you are. How many of these traits are nature and how many are nurture? Dyed hair is nurture. Tattoos are nurture. Piercings, even ears, is nurture. Nurture is anything that you weren't born with. In my opinion, people aren't born with sexuality. Children don't choose their friends based on physical attraction. Hormone supplements are easy for anyone to take, regardless of their age, so I don't think that hormones should take as much of the blame for sexuality as they used to.
I feel like it would be just as difficult to describe why you find someone attractive as it would be to explain why your favorite color is your favorite. I really doubt that favorite colors are a nature trait.
Just because something is nurture, rather than nature, does not mean that it is a choice. I don't believe there is a gene that makes you gay. There could surely be genes that predispose a person towards a certain lifestyle, but personality and behavior are nurture traits. And homosexuality is a behavior.
Okay. Homosexuality could also be a harder to define trait. It could be less like blue eyes and more like what kind of job or career a person would want to do when they grow up. This still means that being homosexual would thin out the more that people are sexually open. It wouldn't completely kill off homosexuals, but advocating open homosexuality would be akin, in my mind, to telling people of a certain race that they are no longer allowed to reproduce.
This is why I feel that I have to believe that homosexuality is nurture. Maybe it is just to satisfy myself, but I want homosexuals to be as open as they want to be, without any chance that this could be killing a community.
Also, I would like to clarify that nurture does not mean that something is a choice. It doesn't even mean that it can be prevented. What it does mean is that gender roles aren't taught as strongly as they used to be and people are more likely to accept whatever a person shows the world, so whatever you are attracted to is much easier to accept.
I want you to think about every trait that defines who you are. How many of these traits are nature and how many are nurture? Dyed hair is nurture. Tattoos are nurture. Piercings, even ears, is nurture. Nurture is anything that you weren't born with. In my opinion, people aren't born with sexuality. Children don't choose their friends based on physical attraction. Hormone supplements are easy for anyone to take, regardless of their age, so I don't think that hormones should take as much of the blame for sexuality as they used to.
I feel like it would be just as difficult to describe why you find someone attractive as it would be to explain why your favorite color is your favorite. I really doubt that favorite colors are a nature trait.
Just because something is nurture, rather than nature, does not mean that it is a choice. I don't believe there is a gene that makes you gay. There could surely be genes that predispose a person towards a certain lifestyle, but personality and behavior are nurture traits. And homosexuality is a behavior.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Creativity
I really wish that I was a creative person. I don't mean that I can't come up with ideas, but most people can. I just can't put them into any solid medium. I can't mix up music, paint, or make sculptures. Those are all things that I find interesting and I wish I could do, but I just don't think that I have the necessary skill set in order to do all or any of these things. I would be able to do them, but it requires effort. I'm sure that this wouldn't be an exorbitant amount, but it is quite definitely a limiting factor on the amount of stuff that I can do. Personally, I've set a grand amount of effort into perfecting my video game skill. I don't play video games as most people do. I still enjoy it, and consider it one of my hobbies, but I don't play it to shoot things in the face. I play it to master the math of the game and to understand what can make the game more compliant to my will. I think this may be a little arrogant, but that really isn't my intent. I know that I'm not great at the execution of video game tasks, so I try to excel in the strategic aspects. I try to excel a great deal in these strategic aspects. Perhaps I could do quite a bit better if I focused more on increasing my reaction speed, but I don't know how much better that can get, being that I've played video games all my life.
And truthfully, that's an important statement. I've played video games all my life. Playing these games is my creativity. It's how I express myself. When I'm angry, I play recklessly. When I'm sad, I'm cautious and self-defeating. The way I'm feeling changes how I act in game, and shows a part of myself.
I truly wish that I had more aspects of creativity. There are so many other ways that I could express myself that would probably improve the world. However, I don't think that I'm doing a bad job, and I connect with my friends at the same time. video games are an outlet that I adore and support. They are creativity.
And truthfully, that's an important statement. I've played video games all my life. Playing these games is my creativity. It's how I express myself. When I'm angry, I play recklessly. When I'm sad, I'm cautious and self-defeating. The way I'm feeling changes how I act in game, and shows a part of myself.
I truly wish that I had more aspects of creativity. There are so many other ways that I could express myself that would probably improve the world. However, I don't think that I'm doing a bad job, and I connect with my friends at the same time. video games are an outlet that I adore and support. They are creativity.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Writing Prompts
Writing Prompts seem to be the silliest thing ever. I'll admit that I couldn't think of something to write, so I Googled "writing prompts." Do you know what results you get when you search for that? You get a collective of arbitrary ideas that have absolutely no cohesion. Some of these ideas are interesting, but a majority of them are just plain silly. Really... you want me to write about a tight-rope walking melon? What will happen to the couple in which the man just inherited a ton of money? I think it'll probably be what most people expect. Then again, I guess everyone thinks that those things will play out differently than I think they will... Whatever. I'll file that one under "maybe I'll write about it if there's ever a point at which I'm that out of ideas and hate my life beyond any reasonable doubt." I really hope that I don't become that bad.
Regardless, I do need to know what to write about. Maybe I should just write about League of Legends daily. I do play it daily. I would have great new stories every day. There would be one about how great friends Teemo and Blitzcrank are until Blitz accidently farts static electricity everywhere and Teemo can't eat his shrooms anymore because of the silence caused by the fart. Yeah, that would be high class.
I could write about a romance between Nidalee and Udyr, since they both love nature and looking like wild animals. The difference there, though, is that Udyr is a furry while Nidalee actually morphs back and forth. Dressing up in animal skins... High class once again Udyr. Good job saving me from that disgrace.
Okay. So, I hope you realize why I don't write about League of Legends every day. There would be no good way for me to take it seriously. I could rant about all of the stupid things that have happened to me in game, but that still doesn't hold anything more than a daily anger rant and I don't personally find that interesting, so I wouldn't want to write about it.
I want to get something started. I want to write some fictional pieces on this blog. I'm sure that it will increase my desire to write and give me many new topics to write about. I'm just not sure if it fits the current style of this blog. Eh... I don't really think that it matters. I currently have recipes, rants, and random plugs for things that I like. How could short stories not fit into this mix? I think I'll do those. They just take a lot more refining than any of my other posts.
So here goes the expedition. I've written a few fiction pieces, but I truthfully haven't finished any of them. As soon as I do, I'll start to place them up here. They might take time though, and they certainly won't come with the great frequency of my blog posts. (That was meant to be a humorous reference to the missing 5 months of posts on this site.) I suppose it will take some time to gain back the trust of all of my 3 readers, but I will definitely be able to soon rehabilitate my reputation if I actually stick to any kind of schedule. Is 3 posts a week good? Okay. We'll do that then. I'll try Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but I really don't know how well I'll be able to stick to that, being that I'm currently making a Thursday post that follows up a Tuesday one. Sorry for the inconsistency from week to week, but I hope that people will be able to show up on weekends, expecting 3 new entries from me. And I also hope that I deliver. Now I just need to know what to fill up 3 pages a week with...
Regardless, I do need to know what to write about. Maybe I should just write about League of Legends daily. I do play it daily. I would have great new stories every day. There would be one about how great friends Teemo and Blitzcrank are until Blitz accidently farts static electricity everywhere and Teemo can't eat his shrooms anymore because of the silence caused by the fart. Yeah, that would be high class.
I could write about a romance between Nidalee and Udyr, since they both love nature and looking like wild animals. The difference there, though, is that Udyr is a furry while Nidalee actually morphs back and forth. Dressing up in animal skins... High class once again Udyr. Good job saving me from that disgrace.
Okay. So, I hope you realize why I don't write about League of Legends every day. There would be no good way for me to take it seriously. I could rant about all of the stupid things that have happened to me in game, but that still doesn't hold anything more than a daily anger rant and I don't personally find that interesting, so I wouldn't want to write about it.
I want to get something started. I want to write some fictional pieces on this blog. I'm sure that it will increase my desire to write and give me many new topics to write about. I'm just not sure if it fits the current style of this blog. Eh... I don't really think that it matters. I currently have recipes, rants, and random plugs for things that I like. How could short stories not fit into this mix? I think I'll do those. They just take a lot more refining than any of my other posts.
So here goes the expedition. I've written a few fiction pieces, but I truthfully haven't finished any of them. As soon as I do, I'll start to place them up here. They might take time though, and they certainly won't come with the great frequency of my blog posts. (That was meant to be a humorous reference to the missing 5 months of posts on this site.) I suppose it will take some time to gain back the trust of all of my 3 readers, but I will definitely be able to soon rehabilitate my reputation if I actually stick to any kind of schedule. Is 3 posts a week good? Okay. We'll do that then. I'll try Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, but I really don't know how well I'll be able to stick to that, being that I'm currently making a Thursday post that follows up a Tuesday one. Sorry for the inconsistency from week to week, but I hope that people will be able to show up on weekends, expecting 3 new entries from me. And I also hope that I deliver. Now I just need to know what to fill up 3 pages a week with...
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Sickness... Blech
Do you remember the last time you were sick? Do you remember how annoying that headache was and how you didn't feel like doing anything? This isn't the not doing anything where you play games. This is the not doing anything where sleep sounds like an exhausting activity. This is what plagues me currently. I have no incentive to do anything, but a 9AM quiz pulled me out of my room. Rargh.
So being sick really sucks. And on top of that it's hot. I guess sweating out all the bad stuff isn't so bad, but I'm also terribly dehydrated constantly. I guess you take the good with the bad and I'm certainly getting a lot of good. I guess that's what happens when you get all that tons of bad like I did this summer. But thinking back on it, I really would be missing this good. I'm glad that shit went down, cause it certainly came back up! And that sounded worse than I intended...
Anyways! I hope to get better soon, cause I like doing things. Anything at all would be nice. I just don't wanna be bedridden anymore.
So being sick really sucks. And on top of that it's hot. I guess sweating out all the bad stuff isn't so bad, but I'm also terribly dehydrated constantly. I guess you take the good with the bad and I'm certainly getting a lot of good. I guess that's what happens when you get all that tons of bad like I did this summer. But thinking back on it, I really would be missing this good. I'm glad that shit went down, cause it certainly came back up! And that sounded worse than I intended...
Anyways! I hope to get better soon, cause I like doing things. Anything at all would be nice. I just don't wanna be bedridden anymore.
While(Lukas.has(girlfriend)){productivity--}
I guess it isn't a bad thing to want to put all of your free time and effort into another person, but it really makes it hard to do anything else. I can't imagine telling her that I would rather play a game or write up some random thoughts. I would just feel bad. It would seem to me like ignoring her, even though that's not what I'm doing. I have this guilt issue. I am a gentleman because I would be guilty if I wasn't. It's just the way I was raised. I like the fact that my parents raised me this way. It's not that I like feeling guilty, but rather that I like feeling this overarching necessity to do good, even when no one is watching. I suppose it would be strange to many people who are of the moral opinion that it isn't who you are, but how people view you. I just believe that I am better as a person for being good no matter what the situation. I also think that it's heavily in my honest nature. I am continuously honest. Since I can't lie about who I am, I have to be who I want to be, rather than putting up that front. I guess it all depends on standpoints and such things. It's very easy for many people to be selfish when there's no good reason not to. I guess that actually makes me irrational for acting in a certain manner without giving any reason.
Anyways, being completely honest makes it terribly simple to love a person. I don't care what usage of love you are thinking of, but I mean sharing everything with a person. I have this feeling with so many people. I share everything with more people than most. These are the people that I love. I'm sure that they love me too. Many couples stagnate when there's nothing left to talk about. Some would say the love is gone. Still, I have tons of things I still need to say to my best friends even though I've been unloading everything on them for years and years. I think this shows love. I've said everything to them, but I still have so many things to say. The difference is that when someone is around you all the time, it's easy to forget that there are things you haven't talked about. There are always random discussion topics. There's always that ability to think back to something you haven't remembered in years and just bring it up arbitrarily in a conversation. If you can't think of things then just google "discussion topics." It returns rather interesting results. There are so many things that I never thought to remember. Do you guys remember Dr. Suess books? Have you talked to anyone about them recently? What about getting lost in stores as a child? Was there ever a time that you had a unexpectedly great or shitty day at an amusement park? Have you ever just sat down and had an argument over the merits of chocolate vs. vanilla? I personally love both and could run both sides of that debate. Then again, there's the "flavorless" sweet cream ice cream. It's kind of amazing how good plain frozen milk tastes. Just remember that there's always something to talk about. If you can't think of anything, it's probably because your mind is full of all the wonderful things about the person you're with. Either that, or you're just trying to hard to think.
I think that it's important to keep putting all of yourself into a person. You'd be surprised how much they don't know about you. You'd be surprised how interested most people are in finding out about you. Just give it a shot. Open yourself to the world.
Anyways, being completely honest makes it terribly simple to love a person. I don't care what usage of love you are thinking of, but I mean sharing everything with a person. I have this feeling with so many people. I share everything with more people than most. These are the people that I love. I'm sure that they love me too. Many couples stagnate when there's nothing left to talk about. Some would say the love is gone. Still, I have tons of things I still need to say to my best friends even though I've been unloading everything on them for years and years. I think this shows love. I've said everything to them, but I still have so many things to say. The difference is that when someone is around you all the time, it's easy to forget that there are things you haven't talked about. There are always random discussion topics. There's always that ability to think back to something you haven't remembered in years and just bring it up arbitrarily in a conversation. If you can't think of things then just google "discussion topics." It returns rather interesting results. There are so many things that I never thought to remember. Do you guys remember Dr. Suess books? Have you talked to anyone about them recently? What about getting lost in stores as a child? Was there ever a time that you had a unexpectedly great or shitty day at an amusement park? Have you ever just sat down and had an argument over the merits of chocolate vs. vanilla? I personally love both and could run both sides of that debate. Then again, there's the "flavorless" sweet cream ice cream. It's kind of amazing how good plain frozen milk tastes. Just remember that there's always something to talk about. If you can't think of anything, it's probably because your mind is full of all the wonderful things about the person you're with. Either that, or you're just trying to hard to think.
I think that it's important to keep putting all of yourself into a person. You'd be surprised how much they don't know about you. You'd be surprised how interested most people are in finding out about you. Just give it a shot. Open yourself to the world.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Sarcasm!
I like it. Sarcasm. I like sarcasm a lot. I use sarcasm a lot. I find though, that it's important that people understand when I use sarcasm. I know a person who can never tell when I'm being sarcastic. This was bad. Whenever I talked to her, she thought I was incredibly offensive. She thought I was seriously when I said that stupid people should go die. She also thought that I took everything terribly personally all the time. I'm surprised that she could survive having taken everyone at exactly their words. I feel that she would be left much too gullible.
So... I say things in a way that is incredibly offensive to tons of people. People who don't know me well find me to be a judgmental and arrogant. People who are closer to me think I'm nice and friendly. People who are even closer to me know that at heart I'm really just judgmental and arrogant. My sarcasm is sometimes a front, but other times it is truthful. This is to keep all my friends on their toes. Actually... only a few people can actually tell every time I'm being sarcastic, even in my close circle of friends. Sometimes it surprises me, but then again, there are still times when even I don't catch the sarcasm of others. This upsets me every time it happens. I wish I was more sarcasm aware.
Anyways, I think sarcasm is part of my whole hipster persona. I'm not actually hipster (in my opinion), but I have been described as such. There are many attributes I have that do contribute to the hipster image. For one, there's the whole sarcasm thing. On top of that I feel the need to be the first or best at everything. Competition is just one of those things that is inherent in my nature. However, the other part of it is that I have the need to be influential. I feel influential if I have persuaded certain people to certain activities or likes and dislikes. This is the case if I am the first to show my friends something cool. This is why I feel the need to have a strong indie cred. It's not that I wanna be cool, but that I want to fell like my friends like having me around because I introduce them to things that they like. I like feeling important. And to some extent, I think we all do.
Goodnight. And tomorrow, go out and make the world different, because you're in it.
So... I say things in a way that is incredibly offensive to tons of people. People who don't know me well find me to be a judgmental and arrogant. People who are closer to me think I'm nice and friendly. People who are even closer to me know that at heart I'm really just judgmental and arrogant. My sarcasm is sometimes a front, but other times it is truthful. This is to keep all my friends on their toes. Actually... only a few people can actually tell every time I'm being sarcastic, even in my close circle of friends. Sometimes it surprises me, but then again, there are still times when even I don't catch the sarcasm of others. This upsets me every time it happens. I wish I was more sarcasm aware.
Anyways, I think sarcasm is part of my whole hipster persona. I'm not actually hipster (in my opinion), but I have been described as such. There are many attributes I have that do contribute to the hipster image. For one, there's the whole sarcasm thing. On top of that I feel the need to be the first or best at everything. Competition is just one of those things that is inherent in my nature. However, the other part of it is that I have the need to be influential. I feel influential if I have persuaded certain people to certain activities or likes and dislikes. This is the case if I am the first to show my friends something cool. This is why I feel the need to have a strong indie cred. It's not that I wanna be cool, but that I want to fell like my friends like having me around because I introduce them to things that they like. I like feeling important. And to some extent, I think we all do.
Goodnight. And tomorrow, go out and make the world different, because you're in it.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Weekends and Megaman
Could anything be more depressing than a college kid who dislikes Fridays? I seriously wish the weekends could remain farther away. It's mostly because I don't find the school work any more difficult on weekdays and classes are often a joke, but my friends who go home for the weekend, I wish I didn't have to live without.
This weekend is especially annoying. Not only do I have to miss some friends, but I also have to miss some food. It's Yom Kippur and as a good Jew I have to fast. I don't mind fasting, but I need to find something to occupy my time with. The tradition is to fill that time with Torah study. I don't have any Torah to study, nor would I know where to start. Therefore, I think I might need to actually do my homework. I probably will end up procrastinating it like usual, but I wish it was not so, if only because of the fact that it's a holiday when we're supposed to study.
Anyways, I really wish that I had a more active social life. Sometimes I don't mind all the free time, but other times I wish it was just filled with more stuff. I guess boredom isn't that terrible of a fate, but it certainly isn't fun.
Anyways, I'm gonna feature another old school game because I like those things and I feel that they all need a bit of love.
I played through the first 3 or 4 Megaman games for the first time over this past summer. It was certainly an interesting experience. After having played many Megaman X and Zero games, the first Megaman games weren't as difficult as I had been led to believe. It's true that there's no dash or charge shot, but the simplicity actually means that it's no surprise when you meet the next piece of the stage. When playing Megaman X there were times, not often but there, when I didn't know how to get a particular secret or powerup. I did not have those moments in the original Megaman games. If there was an obstacle, you could either press A or press B and get through it pretty adequately. I was happy in the third (I think) where the slide was added into the games. I was waiting for it, but I wasn't sure when it would show up. The charge shot, for which I knew Megaman, only appeared in the 4th game (again... I think). This surprised me quite a bit. I was also surprised to discover that the first game didn't have the stereotypical 8 bosses, but instead 6. Though, they did have a couple terribly hard stages. After a play through, the whole thing became easy to repeat. I find that the first Megaman game was very much a memorization platformer. You had to remember where to jump just as much as you needed to time or place your jumps. I know I'm not saying it properly, but I mean that I need to remember where to jump. I can't just watch and jump in real time. These games were good. I wouldn't recommend them over newer Megaman games, which is strange because I tend to love retro games. Though, I would recommend Megaman games in general and I wouldn't say it a bad thing to play the first few games. I actually find them solid games and entertainment if you have nothing but a Nintendo emulator and tons of free time.
This weekend is especially annoying. Not only do I have to miss some friends, but I also have to miss some food. It's Yom Kippur and as a good Jew I have to fast. I don't mind fasting, but I need to find something to occupy my time with. The tradition is to fill that time with Torah study. I don't have any Torah to study, nor would I know where to start. Therefore, I think I might need to actually do my homework. I probably will end up procrastinating it like usual, but I wish it was not so, if only because of the fact that it's a holiday when we're supposed to study.
Anyways, I really wish that I had a more active social life. Sometimes I don't mind all the free time, but other times I wish it was just filled with more stuff. I guess boredom isn't that terrible of a fate, but it certainly isn't fun.
Anyways, I'm gonna feature another old school game because I like those things and I feel that they all need a bit of love.
I played through the first 3 or 4 Megaman games for the first time over this past summer. It was certainly an interesting experience. After having played many Megaman X and Zero games, the first Megaman games weren't as difficult as I had been led to believe. It's true that there's no dash or charge shot, but the simplicity actually means that it's no surprise when you meet the next piece of the stage. When playing Megaman X there were times, not often but there, when I didn't know how to get a particular secret or powerup. I did not have those moments in the original Megaman games. If there was an obstacle, you could either press A or press B and get through it pretty adequately. I was happy in the third (I think) where the slide was added into the games. I was waiting for it, but I wasn't sure when it would show up. The charge shot, for which I knew Megaman, only appeared in the 4th game (again... I think). This surprised me quite a bit. I was also surprised to discover that the first game didn't have the stereotypical 8 bosses, but instead 6. Though, they did have a couple terribly hard stages. After a play through, the whole thing became easy to repeat. I find that the first Megaman game was very much a memorization platformer. You had to remember where to jump just as much as you needed to time or place your jumps. I know I'm not saying it properly, but I mean that I need to remember where to jump. I can't just watch and jump in real time. These games were good. I wouldn't recommend them over newer Megaman games, which is strange because I tend to love retro games. Though, I would recommend Megaman games in general and I wouldn't say it a bad thing to play the first few games. I actually find them solid games and entertainment if you have nothing but a Nintendo emulator and tons of free time.
Monday, September 13, 2010
2 Week Hiatus
I was gone for a while. I did not die moving in. I was not crushed by a futon. I just had things to do. Sorry about being absent on a 2 week hiatus. It wasn't planned. It should have been, but I really underestimated how hard getting back to work can be. All that homework and stuff just started. There was no slow moving back into the school year, but rather 5 professors all giving me several hours worth of work a night. For some reason, I don't believe that they understand that I have other classes. Maybe it's because they consistently do only the work for their own class. I'd like to see professors have to go to other classes while teaching their own and not complain about the workload.
Many things have happened these past two weeks. I moved back into college dorms and got myself a new roommate. I didn't just meet him, because we've been planning to room together for quite a while now. Still, it took some convincing to get our room in order. Now the futon is all set up and both of the beds are lofted. I would really prefer if the projector was already set up, but I not surprised that it hasn't been mounted yet. I wonder if the power cord is long enough to reach where we want to put it. It should be, but I'd rather not just assume it is, because it's still possible that it isn't. Once that's done, I'll be showing fun shows to lots of people whom I want to hang out with more often.
This reminds me. The number of friends that I have has gotten larger. Lucy called me early on and invited me over a few times. I have been hanging out with her more often than last semester, but I don't know if it's her fault. It could easily be her roommate's fault. These are two of the people whom I hang out with considerably more than previously. There are also many new freshmen on our floor and I'm really not complaining about them. Most of them are pretty cool dudes. My roommate complains about the fact that they're all dudes, but I really like not having to fend of girls with a stick every time I return to my room from the shower. That would require actually bringing a stick with me to the shower, which would be awkward.
Regardless, I also have been playing less games and watching less TV shows. This makes it harder to review things. However, I have caught up on all 4 seasons of Dexter. I've been debating a Dexter plug (cynical way to say feature), but the series is still on going, so I don't know how proper my review would be. I think I'll do it anyways because the show definitely is good enough to merit the growth in audience.
Speaking of watching shows, my friend Scott got my Linux partition working a ton better than it did previously. Now I can actually play TF2 in Linux! Have I made a TF2 plug yet? I suppose I should get to that soon enough. TF2 is worth at least 5 or 6 plugs, but I have a feeling that people would be upset with me if I did that many.
But speaking of Linux partitions working, one thing that used to only be semi functional was the flash playing ability of Linux computers. Somehow, Scott's fix made my flash player work at crystal clarity. It runs full speed with no skipping (which used to be a very large issue). It's almost like a new computer. I also got my touchpad to start functioning again after a bug that seemed to plague all Lucid Lynx installations of HP laptops. The last issue with my Linux partition is that window borders randomly disappear, but the quick fix to that is to reload the window manager. I think it happened because my Linux wasn't sure whether it was using Compiz or Metacity. Selecting either one fixes the problem. If this means nothing to you then... well I'm not surprised. It means very little to me, other than the fact that I can have multiple desktops with pretty window animation and that when people are looking over my shoulder I can piss them off by making my desktop rain. This makes more sense than you think it does. Trust me.
I've gotten off track twice now, but the flash player working in Linux is actually really great. Since my desktop computer is all pushed into a corner, it isn't very personable. However, I can set up the laptop anywhere that is convenient. This means that I have tons of freedom to watch shows where ever and whenever I want, which leads to watching as many shows as I used to, and therefore having just as many reviews. This could be good or bad, depending on my commitment to finishing work before watching random stuff on the internet. It also depends on my getting a decent pair of headphones, and how visible they are in class. I might be a problem if I spend all my time on Toradora or Fruits Basket. I know these are both "girly" shows, but they have both caught my interest. No one ever did tell me the premise to them before, but then again, I never really asked.
Also exciting in the past 2 weeks is that I got delicious candies. Milkita's are like tootsie rolls, but for people who like good chocolate. This may be judgmental of me, but I really do believe that tootsie rolls don't use the best of chocolate (even they even use chocolate at all) in their production. I'm also pretty sure that these Milkita candies do use real chocolate, because the taste difference is like the difference between Hershey's and Milka's Alpenmilch. That, for all you confused people, is a chocolate bar that frequents the shops of Germany and makes it a much happier country than the one I currently live in. If Milka was introduced to America, policies would be changed. Grumpiness would no longer be allowed, but it wouldn't matter because no one would have any reason to be grumpy anymore. They'd all have German chocolate, and that would be all that matters. Basically, candy who's name starts with "milk" is an influential factor in my life. I wonder if that's a bias... I surely hope it is, because I don't mind loving things with milk in them.
Til the morrow, when I'll hopefully remember to post again...
Many things have happened these past two weeks. I moved back into college dorms and got myself a new roommate. I didn't just meet him, because we've been planning to room together for quite a while now. Still, it took some convincing to get our room in order. Now the futon is all set up and both of the beds are lofted. I would really prefer if the projector was already set up, but I not surprised that it hasn't been mounted yet. I wonder if the power cord is long enough to reach where we want to put it. It should be, but I'd rather not just assume it is, because it's still possible that it isn't. Once that's done, I'll be showing fun shows to lots of people whom I want to hang out with more often.
This reminds me. The number of friends that I have has gotten larger. Lucy called me early on and invited me over a few times. I have been hanging out with her more often than last semester, but I don't know if it's her fault. It could easily be her roommate's fault. These are two of the people whom I hang out with considerably more than previously. There are also many new freshmen on our floor and I'm really not complaining about them. Most of them are pretty cool dudes. My roommate complains about the fact that they're all dudes, but I really like not having to fend of girls with a stick every time I return to my room from the shower. That would require actually bringing a stick with me to the shower, which would be awkward.
Regardless, I also have been playing less games and watching less TV shows. This makes it harder to review things. However, I have caught up on all 4 seasons of Dexter. I've been debating a Dexter plug (cynical way to say feature), but the series is still on going, so I don't know how proper my review would be. I think I'll do it anyways because the show definitely is good enough to merit the growth in audience.
Speaking of watching shows, my friend Scott got my Linux partition working a ton better than it did previously. Now I can actually play TF2 in Linux! Have I made a TF2 plug yet? I suppose I should get to that soon enough. TF2 is worth at least 5 or 6 plugs, but I have a feeling that people would be upset with me if I did that many.
But speaking of Linux partitions working, one thing that used to only be semi functional was the flash playing ability of Linux computers. Somehow, Scott's fix made my flash player work at crystal clarity. It runs full speed with no skipping (which used to be a very large issue). It's almost like a new computer. I also got my touchpad to start functioning again after a bug that seemed to plague all Lucid Lynx installations of HP laptops. The last issue with my Linux partition is that window borders randomly disappear, but the quick fix to that is to reload the window manager. I think it happened because my Linux wasn't sure whether it was using Compiz or Metacity. Selecting either one fixes the problem. If this means nothing to you then... well I'm not surprised. It means very little to me, other than the fact that I can have multiple desktops with pretty window animation and that when people are looking over my shoulder I can piss them off by making my desktop rain. This makes more sense than you think it does. Trust me.
I've gotten off track twice now, but the flash player working in Linux is actually really great. Since my desktop computer is all pushed into a corner, it isn't very personable. However, I can set up the laptop anywhere that is convenient. This means that I have tons of freedom to watch shows where ever and whenever I want, which leads to watching as many shows as I used to, and therefore having just as many reviews. This could be good or bad, depending on my commitment to finishing work before watching random stuff on the internet. It also depends on my getting a decent pair of headphones, and how visible they are in class. I might be a problem if I spend all my time on Toradora or Fruits Basket. I know these are both "girly" shows, but they have both caught my interest. No one ever did tell me the premise to them before, but then again, I never really asked.
Also exciting in the past 2 weeks is that I got delicious candies. Milkita's are like tootsie rolls, but for people who like good chocolate. This may be judgmental of me, but I really do believe that tootsie rolls don't use the best of chocolate (even they even use chocolate at all) in their production. I'm also pretty sure that these Milkita candies do use real chocolate, because the taste difference is like the difference between Hershey's and Milka's Alpenmilch. That, for all you confused people, is a chocolate bar that frequents the shops of Germany and makes it a much happier country than the one I currently live in. If Milka was introduced to America, policies would be changed. Grumpiness would no longer be allowed, but it wouldn't matter because no one would have any reason to be grumpy anymore. They'd all have German chocolate, and that would be all that matters. Basically, candy who's name starts with "milk" is an influential factor in my life. I wonder if that's a bias... I surely hope it is, because I don't mind loving things with milk in them.
Til the morrow, when I'll hopefully remember to post again...
Thursday, August 26, 2010
The Beach!
I went to the beach today. I was almost dragged there. I guess though, that made me like it even more. I think when I expect something to not be fun, it ends up being more fun than I expected it to be. I think this makes a ton of sense.
Activities that were done today include eating breakfast at Bob Evans, going to an arcade, getting fries and ice cream, playing mini golf, buying candy, and eating calzone like foods.
I like eating, so that was great. I enjoyed my omelet smothered in hollandaise, even though I'm fairly picky about hollandaise sauce in general. However, they had good hollandaise and used it in the meal well. I am happy with Bob Evans. I will have to return to there at some point in the future. This is what I do with things I like. I repeat them. I also liked the calzone, though I'm not sure if that will be a repeatable experience. It may be one of those experiences that I like, but not love enough to do a million times. In fact, I probably won't seek out a Bob Evans, but I've seen them on the road before and I acknowledge that I would now be willing to go to one in the future. Boardwalk fries and ice cream are things that I already knew I loved and will probably get every time I go to the beach.
As for the playing mini golf, I enjoyed it much more than I usually do. Often, I find mini golf to be really fun, but today I didn't think I was going to have any fun. That all changed though, when I decided to own everyone that I was playing with. Winning always makes an experience better. Well, it doesn't always, but it is a common trend.
As for the candy, I haven't actually tried it yet, but I'm sure it will be delicious. I have chocolate things and caramel things. These are some of my favorite things to have. I also bought a box of taffy, because I almost feel like I have to every time I go to the beach. I think it's because my dad always buys a box of taffy that he shares with me when we go to the beach together. He likes taffy because it's one of the few candies that he can actually eat. Being allergic to bread sucks when even some puddings are thickened with flour.
So, all in all, it was a fun day. I enjoyed myself. I think I do that often when good food is involved. I still want to be a chef some day.
Activities that were done today include eating breakfast at Bob Evans, going to an arcade, getting fries and ice cream, playing mini golf, buying candy, and eating calzone like foods.
I like eating, so that was great. I enjoyed my omelet smothered in hollandaise, even though I'm fairly picky about hollandaise sauce in general. However, they had good hollandaise and used it in the meal well. I am happy with Bob Evans. I will have to return to there at some point in the future. This is what I do with things I like. I repeat them. I also liked the calzone, though I'm not sure if that will be a repeatable experience. It may be one of those experiences that I like, but not love enough to do a million times. In fact, I probably won't seek out a Bob Evans, but I've seen them on the road before and I acknowledge that I would now be willing to go to one in the future. Boardwalk fries and ice cream are things that I already knew I loved and will probably get every time I go to the beach.
As for the playing mini golf, I enjoyed it much more than I usually do. Often, I find mini golf to be really fun, but today I didn't think I was going to have any fun. That all changed though, when I decided to own everyone that I was playing with. Winning always makes an experience better. Well, it doesn't always, but it is a common trend.
As for the candy, I haven't actually tried it yet, but I'm sure it will be delicious. I have chocolate things and caramel things. These are some of my favorite things to have. I also bought a box of taffy, because I almost feel like I have to every time I go to the beach. I think it's because my dad always buys a box of taffy that he shares with me when we go to the beach together. He likes taffy because it's one of the few candies that he can actually eat. Being allergic to bread sucks when even some puddings are thickened with flour.
So, all in all, it was a fun day. I enjoyed myself. I think I do that often when good food is involved. I still want to be a chef some day.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Packing
Or not packing, as I'm procrastinating by writing this post. I have to move in to my school dorm this week. I have mixed feelings. On the one hand, I want to be with all of my friends. On the other hand, I don't think I really want to be around people ever again. Truthfully, the classes themselves don't factor into my feelings at all. Some will be boring. Others might possibly interest me. I'm not taking enough classes for it to really matter all that much to me.
My classes are strange to me. I'll be taking 3 electrical engineering classes and a physics class. I'll also take the required Scholars course. Variety is the spice of life, right? So school will be about as bland as white bread with a glass of water. I don't need to be interested in my classes, as long as I take them and do well in them. I just need to make sure that I care enough to actually put in 3 seconds worth of effort on my homework. I'm sure that my roommate will bother me about doing homework since I'll bother him about the same thing. It would be hypocritical of me to tell him to do work when I'm ignoring work that I have. Though, hypocrisy has never actually prevented me from being a douche before. It only makes me hate myself.
Anyways, I need to put stuff together for moving into my room with said roommate. We have plans on the room arrangement, but I'm not sure how we're actually gonna do it. There are still some factors that we aren't clear on yet. It is important to know whether or not the bed lofts are wider than the couch. This shall all be figured out soon, and truthfully we'll loft our beds either way. We will need to if we want enough space to set up the projector. This will be our replacement for the TV that we won't have.
Now I'm going to have to find a way to move a couch and a projector. After that I'll need to move a mini fridge and my computer. After all of those things, I'll still need clothing and toiletries. I hope that that's all, but I really doubt it. Last semester I ended up moving out with 3 times as many things as I moved in with. I think it's because we emptied out my room at my mom's house when she decided to rent it out and move in with her new husband in Germany.
My reluctance now involves lots of heavy things going up and down elevators, in addition to the thing about wanting to curl up into a ball and burn the whole world. If I burn everything that could possibly hurt me at some point in the future, then I'll never get hurt again. Except maybe by the flames. Also, I wouldn't be too keen on all the burning people. I generally like people. Having people burn would be a bad thing.
Anyways, I feel the need to give the disclaimer that this semester will be filled with lots of rarghs and sighs. Packing will get many of those out of the way. It's hard not to sigh when stuck with the daunting task of moving a couch into a dorm room, and it's hard not to rargh when said couch doesn't fit through the doorway. So then, let's kick it off with a long sigh inspired by looking around at all the things that I need to put in bags and boxes. *Sigh* I suppose it need to be done, and once it is, I'll be able to just crash and never get up ever again.
My classes are strange to me. I'll be taking 3 electrical engineering classes and a physics class. I'll also take the required Scholars course. Variety is the spice of life, right? So school will be about as bland as white bread with a glass of water. I don't need to be interested in my classes, as long as I take them and do well in them. I just need to make sure that I care enough to actually put in 3 seconds worth of effort on my homework. I'm sure that my roommate will bother me about doing homework since I'll bother him about the same thing. It would be hypocritical of me to tell him to do work when I'm ignoring work that I have. Though, hypocrisy has never actually prevented me from being a douche before. It only makes me hate myself.
Anyways, I need to put stuff together for moving into my room with said roommate. We have plans on the room arrangement, but I'm not sure how we're actually gonna do it. There are still some factors that we aren't clear on yet. It is important to know whether or not the bed lofts are wider than the couch. This shall all be figured out soon, and truthfully we'll loft our beds either way. We will need to if we want enough space to set up the projector. This will be our replacement for the TV that we won't have.
Now I'm going to have to find a way to move a couch and a projector. After that I'll need to move a mini fridge and my computer. After all of those things, I'll still need clothing and toiletries. I hope that that's all, but I really doubt it. Last semester I ended up moving out with 3 times as many things as I moved in with. I think it's because we emptied out my room at my mom's house when she decided to rent it out and move in with her new husband in Germany.
My reluctance now involves lots of heavy things going up and down elevators, in addition to the thing about wanting to curl up into a ball and burn the whole world. If I burn everything that could possibly hurt me at some point in the future, then I'll never get hurt again. Except maybe by the flames. Also, I wouldn't be too keen on all the burning people. I generally like people. Having people burn would be a bad thing.
Anyways, I feel the need to give the disclaimer that this semester will be filled with lots of rarghs and sighs. Packing will get many of those out of the way. It's hard not to sigh when stuck with the daunting task of moving a couch into a dorm room, and it's hard not to rargh when said couch doesn't fit through the doorway. So then, let's kick it off with a long sigh inspired by looking around at all the things that I need to put in bags and boxes. *Sigh* I suppose it need to be done, and once it is, I'll be able to just crash and never get up ever again.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Bleached... Blond?
So I decided that I don't like my hair being as dark as it is. Or I should say, as it was. I decided to go ahead and bleach it. I asked my friend to come over to help me. Neither of us have ever done this before. By the way, the smartest way to do something is with someone else who has never done it before. This definitely ups the clueless factor when both people are meandering around asking each other if it's being done right.
The box said that the hair bleach should be left in for 30 to 60 minutes. I guess that would work if the bleach didn't take 2 hours to put in. Again, this was a first time sort of deal for both of us. It took much longer than it should have, but it all worked out in the end. My hair is much lighter than before.
I've got to admit, it does look rather artificial. I don't mind. Actually I like it. It has this neat effect where it fades from blond into brown near the tips. I'm not saying that it's bad. I'm just saying that it's easy to see that it is not a natural color.
Truthfully, the color isn't really blond. It's more like orange. It makes sense because there have always been red hair genes in my family tree. I just never thought that I got any of them. I thought that my hair turned from blond when I was young to brown as I got older, but it seems that it was actually a dark red hair color. I am pleased with this. I've always wanted to be a red head. Now, it is a fair bit light for red hair, but I like it.
The experience also had an interesting effect on my psyche. Now when I look in the mirror I say to myself, what is that poser trying to prove? Then I realize that it's me. This will absolutely make sure that I learn to not judge before I actually talk to a person, since I know I'm not terrible to hang out with and I currently look like the kind of person that I wouldn't want to associate with at first glance. I'm classically conditioning myself to be less judgmental. I'm happy with myself for doing this. I also feel like a nerd now.
The box said that the hair bleach should be left in for 30 to 60 minutes. I guess that would work if the bleach didn't take 2 hours to put in. Again, this was a first time sort of deal for both of us. It took much longer than it should have, but it all worked out in the end. My hair is much lighter than before.
I've got to admit, it does look rather artificial. I don't mind. Actually I like it. It has this neat effect where it fades from blond into brown near the tips. I'm not saying that it's bad. I'm just saying that it's easy to see that it is not a natural color.
Truthfully, the color isn't really blond. It's more like orange. It makes sense because there have always been red hair genes in my family tree. I just never thought that I got any of them. I thought that my hair turned from blond when I was young to brown as I got older, but it seems that it was actually a dark red hair color. I am pleased with this. I've always wanted to be a red head. Now, it is a fair bit light for red hair, but I like it.
The experience also had an interesting effect on my psyche. Now when I look in the mirror I say to myself, what is that poser trying to prove? Then I realize that it's me. This will absolutely make sure that I learn to not judge before I actually talk to a person, since I know I'm not terrible to hang out with and I currently look like the kind of person that I wouldn't want to associate with at first glance. I'm classically conditioning myself to be less judgmental. I'm happy with myself for doing this. I also feel like a nerd now.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Workless Summer
Work was fun. Then it became boring. Then it started being pretty terrible because I was making quite a few mistakes. Now I have no more work, and I'm not feeling any better about where I am and what I'm doing. I'm not saying that the grass is always greener, but I realized that there's as little to do at work as there is here. I thought here would have games and free time to travel and visit friends, but I was wrong. Friends don't want visits. They have a ton of stuff already on their plates.
For example, school is coming up. I need to move in on Thursday. I thought it was Saturday, but I was wrong. I need to check in and move shtuff on Thursday of this coming week. Then I get the one weekend to hang out with friends before I have to get back to the grindstone. However, this grindstone will involve tons of friend meeting and happiness. Though I doubt I'll be able to participate in this happiness. I'm going to have so many things on my mind that I won't be able to emote much at all.
Then again, I find that will be much better than being bored here. Still, the grass is not always greener. Before I had a job, I knew that I didn't want one. When I was in school, I wanted it to not end. I know where I want to be. I want to be in an endless semester. Of course, if it's endless then I don't have to worry about finals and grades, since I usually only worry about that stuff the last few weeks of any semester anyways. I just want to live with the people that are the most important to me, and make sure that they stay that way.
Anyways, bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan. I think I'm just complaining into the internet know, because I do have things to do. I just don't wanna do those. I want to do other things. Things that I can't necessarily do. This is just laziness turning into boredom. Really, I'm complaining about nothing, but like complaining, so I'm giving myself a reason to do so. Well, if you read my blog, then you already know that I complain frequently, so I don't know how much you mind me doing so again. Hm... I think I shall go back to game reviews. I do have time to do them, since school doesn't start up for another week. I guess then I would appease myself while helping my wonderful audience. It would be a win-win! Yay!
For example, school is coming up. I need to move in on Thursday. I thought it was Saturday, but I was wrong. I need to check in and move shtuff on Thursday of this coming week. Then I get the one weekend to hang out with friends before I have to get back to the grindstone. However, this grindstone will involve tons of friend meeting and happiness. Though I doubt I'll be able to participate in this happiness. I'm going to have so many things on my mind that I won't be able to emote much at all.
Then again, I find that will be much better than being bored here. Still, the grass is not always greener. Before I had a job, I knew that I didn't want one. When I was in school, I wanted it to not end. I know where I want to be. I want to be in an endless semester. Of course, if it's endless then I don't have to worry about finals and grades, since I usually only worry about that stuff the last few weeks of any semester anyways. I just want to live with the people that are the most important to me, and make sure that they stay that way.
Anyways, bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan. I think I'm just complaining into the internet know, because I do have things to do. I just don't wanna do those. I want to do other things. Things that I can't necessarily do. This is just laziness turning into boredom. Really, I'm complaining about nothing, but like complaining, so I'm giving myself a reason to do so. Well, if you read my blog, then you already know that I complain frequently, so I don't know how much you mind me doing so again. Hm... I think I shall go back to game reviews. I do have time to do them, since school doesn't start up for another week. I guess then I would appease myself while helping my wonderful audience. It would be a win-win! Yay!
Monday, August 16, 2010
Relationships
I have come to a conclusion. It is unsupported by any data that I know of except for that which is completely anecdotal. Still, I believe it is an... insightful thought. I guess it's more of a musing than a conclusion.
Relationships will have high points and low points. People are not the same. They never will be. No two people can agree 100% on everything. It's hard to even do that with anything. When you put two people in close proximity for a long period of time, then they will talk about the disagreements more than the agreements most of the time. They will cause drama for little reason.
I've read that it is because of entertainment that we do these things. We see them happen on television and in plays and wonder why our lives aren't like that. We want our lives to be exciting, so we add our own excitement. I don't know if this is the case, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was. It wouldn't surprise me if it wasn't either. It would surprise me if all of our drama was created by aliens sticking to our bodies throughout our entire lives. However, I've only heard that theory from one group and they are often not thought of as reliable.
So, long story short, there will be issues. You can work them out if you don't ignore them. I'm not sure if teenagers, or young people in general, understand that there will be issues. I think many believe there is a relationship waiting out there for them with no issues. I don't know. There may be one. There probably isn't one for me. However, I also know that if I work out the issues -- if we work out the issues -- then the relationship can end up being better for the both of us than it was to begin with.
Since I believe that no relationship is issue-less (given enough time) I continually try to resolve said issues, instead of just escaping them. This often results in more issues than there were to begin with, because often the person who was trying to avoid said issues isn't exactly going to love the idea of confronting them.
So here I face another problem. Is it worth it to bring up the issues? In my heart of hearts, I really do believe that both people will both end up happier if things are resolved. I know that I can't be sure of this, but I feel like it is true.
So I guess I'm asking you to give me a chance. Another chance. Let's try to resolve this. Let's see how far we can go. If the same issues come up again, if you find out that these things cannot be resolved, then I'll drop it. I'll let you go. But if you find yourself happy again, then just remember, happiness fluctuates. One little dip shouldn't break the whole curve. Joy units in your life are as reliable as money in the Stock Market, but I will always be your wholesale supplier.
Relationships will have high points and low points. People are not the same. They never will be. No two people can agree 100% on everything. It's hard to even do that with anything. When you put two people in close proximity for a long period of time, then they will talk about the disagreements more than the agreements most of the time. They will cause drama for little reason.
I've read that it is because of entertainment that we do these things. We see them happen on television and in plays and wonder why our lives aren't like that. We want our lives to be exciting, so we add our own excitement. I don't know if this is the case, but it wouldn't surprise me if it was. It wouldn't surprise me if it wasn't either. It would surprise me if all of our drama was created by aliens sticking to our bodies throughout our entire lives. However, I've only heard that theory from one group and they are often not thought of as reliable.
So, long story short, there will be issues. You can work them out if you don't ignore them. I'm not sure if teenagers, or young people in general, understand that there will be issues. I think many believe there is a relationship waiting out there for them with no issues. I don't know. There may be one. There probably isn't one for me. However, I also know that if I work out the issues -- if we work out the issues -- then the relationship can end up being better for the both of us than it was to begin with.
Since I believe that no relationship is issue-less (given enough time) I continually try to resolve said issues, instead of just escaping them. This often results in more issues than there were to begin with, because often the person who was trying to avoid said issues isn't exactly going to love the idea of confronting them.
So here I face another problem. Is it worth it to bring up the issues? In my heart of hearts, I really do believe that both people will both end up happier if things are resolved. I know that I can't be sure of this, but I feel like it is true.
So I guess I'm asking you to give me a chance. Another chance. Let's try to resolve this. Let's see how far we can go. If the same issues come up again, if you find out that these things cannot be resolved, then I'll drop it. I'll let you go. But if you find yourself happy again, then just remember, happiness fluctuates. One little dip shouldn't break the whole curve. Joy units in your life are as reliable as money in the Stock Market, but I will always be your wholesale supplier.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Meat
For a good solid chunk of time, I ate nothing but vegetables. I had very little desire for any meat products. Recently though, I told my family that I would eat fish. Their reaction to this was rather unsettling. I now think that I'm eating exorbitant fish. I think they heard "I want fish at every meal" when I said "I'll eat fish sometimes too." Every time my dad has brought home fish, he has informed me of the treat he is bringing me. I really could care less about this fish. However, if I don't eat it soon (he literally says soon every time) then it will go bad. Then I eat it, so he buys more because he saw how much I liked it. I keep telling him to buy fish less often. I really don't want it. Stop it. This is annoying. This much fish is actually giving me more of a distaste for it than did not eating it for a year.
I think the idea stems from the common current human idea that meat is the substance in a meal. My dad actually one time told me to cook enough for two, but leave his portion in the pan. Then while I was eating he added chicken. I asked why. He said he needed substance. Did I not eat anything substantial? This is kind of offensive. Even more offensive is my brother "welcoming" me back to the realm of human when I had chicken wings.
I don't eat meat very often. In fact, I rarely order something with meat at restaurants. It's just another ingredient. It would be like saying that a dining room is needed for a house to be a home. I can't remember the last time we used our dining room as something other than a hallway. My dad continually packs junk on the dining room table, and then tells us how messy it is. I'm constantly trying to get stuff off of it so we could eat there, if we ever ate anywhere other than in front of the television. What I'm trying to say is, no room is essential to a home, as no ingredient is essential to a meal. We don't need meat, and we really don't need it as much as we have it. I'm not telling you what to eat or that you're a terrible person. What I'm trying to say is that I don't want it forced upon me. It's like I mentioned in the libido article. I know I'm the strange one. I won't even pretend I'm not. I just don't think that's enough of a reason to pick on me or judge who I am.
The real reason that I eat meat so little is the same reason that I do most of what I do. I like to do what my friends do and hang out with them. I don't want my eating meat to make my vegetarian friends feel awkward and I don't really think it affects my meat eating friends at all. I feel like it's just easier.
Also, I will eat other kinds of meat if it means people are less willing to shove fish in my face. Fish does get kind of boring after 3 months of constant fish dinners.
I think the idea stems from the common current human idea that meat is the substance in a meal. My dad actually one time told me to cook enough for two, but leave his portion in the pan. Then while I was eating he added chicken. I asked why. He said he needed substance. Did I not eat anything substantial? This is kind of offensive. Even more offensive is my brother "welcoming" me back to the realm of human when I had chicken wings.
I don't eat meat very often. In fact, I rarely order something with meat at restaurants. It's just another ingredient. It would be like saying that a dining room is needed for a house to be a home. I can't remember the last time we used our dining room as something other than a hallway. My dad continually packs junk on the dining room table, and then tells us how messy it is. I'm constantly trying to get stuff off of it so we could eat there, if we ever ate anywhere other than in front of the television. What I'm trying to say is, no room is essential to a home, as no ingredient is essential to a meal. We don't need meat, and we really don't need it as much as we have it. I'm not telling you what to eat or that you're a terrible person. What I'm trying to say is that I don't want it forced upon me. It's like I mentioned in the libido article. I know I'm the strange one. I won't even pretend I'm not. I just don't think that's enough of a reason to pick on me or judge who I am.
The real reason that I eat meat so little is the same reason that I do most of what I do. I like to do what my friends do and hang out with them. I don't want my eating meat to make my vegetarian friends feel awkward and I don't really think it affects my meat eating friends at all. I feel like it's just easier.
Also, I will eat other kinds of meat if it means people are less willing to shove fish in my face. Fish does get kind of boring after 3 months of constant fish dinners.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Libido
"Did you see that girl's ass?"
"No. Did you?" -Me
"Yeah. How could I not see it?"
"Well... I didn't." -Me
"Were you not looking?"
"No." -Me
Often times people assume I'm gay because I don't check out and comment on women. Is that really a norm? I would understand if it's accepted. I accept it too. I'm just surprised that it's so far past accepting that there is something wrong with you if you don't do it. I'm reminded that I'm not the norm who's pointing out everyone else's perversion, but rather the strange one pointing at everyone else and wondering why they're normal.
I find I do this much too often. I just don't see myself as this strange entity, but then again, to me I'm not. I need some sort of reminder that I'm not the norm. That's where my friends come in. They are similar to me. I have friends who have slightly higher libidos, and then there are the ones with libidos much lower than my own. It actually feels strange sometimes, to hang out with a group of people in which we don't comment and physical appearances all that often. I just don't like that one person can yell Hooters, and all of a sudden everyone is moving in the direction of Hooters. I've never eaten at Hooters. I don't know if I like their food. Since I can't evaluate their quality based on food, I find that I often think of them as a libido inducing establishment. I suppose I should eat there once to figure it out, but I have no desire for chicken wings and beer among rabid football fans. I like sports. I just don't like the stereotypical fans of sports. The fans I know personally are never terrible. I love them all. It's just the guys I see in sports bars and on TV that I don't like.
I really have to take to heart my statement that you should evaluate people as people, and not as whatever group you put them in. I could say hi to them and find out whether or not I really do like talking to them. If not, then I could always ignore them like I was planning to in the first place. Otherwise, I might find great new friends. I don't know. I guess it all depends on my initial reactions. I should really have none. Reactions shouldn't be on whether a person is yelling or not. They shouldn't be based on the games they play. Initial reactions are fine if a person pulls a knife on me. I do have the right to find the offensive and get the hell out of there, but barring physical harm, I see no reason to not give everyone a chance.
Therefore, bringing the current tangent back to the topic, I should not avoid people who have libidos. They haven't done anything to me, and it's unlikely they will. I can still have conversations with them. I can even talk about attractive people. I mean, did you see that scene in Inception where Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ellen Page kissed? I was awestruck. I love that scene. It might have to be on a poster in my room. The poster will have a button in the lower corner that will start an audio file. "It was worth a shot." I would adore this item if it existed. Is it wrong that I would want to be with both of those two at the same time?
So, I have a libido. I just don't have one that is based on looks. There are several other things that do it for me though. Intelligence works for me. The smartest people give me the best feelings. I don't care how wrong that sounded. I said it and meant it. I love smart people. I don't care what they're smart in or how they express it. A painter can paint something just as beautiful as something a mathematician can derive. I also love well built, witty, characters, like those in Buffy, Angel, Ouran High School, or Inception. I suppose this is why I love romance comedies. They are made for witty and smart characters.
In the end, I learned something new about myself just by typing out words. I'm just as easily seduced by actors, as long as they use the correct seduction techniques. Or alternatively -- libido, I have one.
"No. Did you?" -Me
"Yeah. How could I not see it?"
"Well... I didn't." -Me
"Were you not looking?"
"No." -Me
Often times people assume I'm gay because I don't check out and comment on women. Is that really a norm? I would understand if it's accepted. I accept it too. I'm just surprised that it's so far past accepting that there is something wrong with you if you don't do it. I'm reminded that I'm not the norm who's pointing out everyone else's perversion, but rather the strange one pointing at everyone else and wondering why they're normal.
I find I do this much too often. I just don't see myself as this strange entity, but then again, to me I'm not. I need some sort of reminder that I'm not the norm. That's where my friends come in. They are similar to me. I have friends who have slightly higher libidos, and then there are the ones with libidos much lower than my own. It actually feels strange sometimes, to hang out with a group of people in which we don't comment and physical appearances all that often. I just don't like that one person can yell Hooters, and all of a sudden everyone is moving in the direction of Hooters. I've never eaten at Hooters. I don't know if I like their food. Since I can't evaluate their quality based on food, I find that I often think of them as a libido inducing establishment. I suppose I should eat there once to figure it out, but I have no desire for chicken wings and beer among rabid football fans. I like sports. I just don't like the stereotypical fans of sports. The fans I know personally are never terrible. I love them all. It's just the guys I see in sports bars and on TV that I don't like.
I really have to take to heart my statement that you should evaluate people as people, and not as whatever group you put them in. I could say hi to them and find out whether or not I really do like talking to them. If not, then I could always ignore them like I was planning to in the first place. Otherwise, I might find great new friends. I don't know. I guess it all depends on my initial reactions. I should really have none. Reactions shouldn't be on whether a person is yelling or not. They shouldn't be based on the games they play. Initial reactions are fine if a person pulls a knife on me. I do have the right to find the offensive and get the hell out of there, but barring physical harm, I see no reason to not give everyone a chance.
Therefore, bringing the current tangent back to the topic, I should not avoid people who have libidos. They haven't done anything to me, and it's unlikely they will. I can still have conversations with them. I can even talk about attractive people. I mean, did you see that scene in Inception where Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Ellen Page kissed? I was awestruck. I love that scene. It might have to be on a poster in my room. The poster will have a button in the lower corner that will start an audio file. "It was worth a shot." I would adore this item if it existed. Is it wrong that I would want to be with both of those two at the same time?
So, I have a libido. I just don't have one that is based on looks. There are several other things that do it for me though. Intelligence works for me. The smartest people give me the best feelings. I don't care how wrong that sounded. I said it and meant it. I love smart people. I don't care what they're smart in or how they express it. A painter can paint something just as beautiful as something a mathematician can derive. I also love well built, witty, characters, like those in Buffy, Angel, Ouran High School, or Inception. I suppose this is why I love romance comedies. They are made for witty and smart characters.
In the end, I learned something new about myself just by typing out words. I'm just as easily seduced by actors, as long as they use the correct seduction techniques. Or alternatively -- libido, I have one.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Change
Surprisingly enough, many people are told their flaws on a daily basis, but many ignore them or hear them and just do nothing about it. They know that no one should be that peppy and another high five would just make everyone around them explode. They know that their toes have a frequented vacation home next to their tonsils. They know that they grate certain people just a little too much, but then decide that they didn't really want blood on their pasta after all. But they don't change.
So I decided I'm going to do it. Change. But for some reason everyone I knew and grew up with seems to be working against me. They aren't trying to. This is just how they're built, and why I used to fit in with them so well.
I tell people that I want to be a better person. They ask how. Okay. I tell them I want to be more accepting and tolerant. They ask how again. Okay. I tell them that I will stop arguing arguments that are over and will accept that a person may not know or care for a reason. I'm sure there's one there, but no one has to know it. Then they ask why. Not okay. Really? You have to ask why there doesn't have to be a reason? And better yet, why I want to be a better person? I just don't like people disliking me. I know there will always be people who will, but I'm sure I can make the number much smaller if I ask less questions that people don't want to hear or answer. I really don't need to know why a movie is considered good, as long as I know whether or not I like it. It is similar to how artists don't need to know how the forces of the universe work, as long as their paints still stick to their canvases.
I've only been doing it for a week now, and I've found myself much happier already. Instead of being frustrated that people won't agree with me and tell me I'm right, I'm happy that I don't have to hear them talk about things I would rather not listen to. Now the only frustration comes from knowing that I won't agree with someone, telling them so, and having them continue to tell me things I've already heard. I understand it now. People were always upset with me. I wouldn't stop. Now I'm upset at people who won't stop. I doesn't seem like it could be any more obvious or any less serendipitous. (By the way, that was sarcasm. It's quite the opposite of serendipity.)
I might note, for your convenience, that I haven't given up asking why. I haven't given up having an opinion. I just have to recognize when the other person doesn't care why or when that opinion isn't going to add anything to the equation. It would be like walking into a pudding shop and telling them that pudding sucks. You can say you don't like pudding, and they may ask you why you walked into a pudding shop, but they wouldn't dislike you. However, if you started telling them why they shouldn't eat pudding and how they're already fat slobs, then they'll get angry and not want to deal with you. I know people who do this very thing with politics. They just yell issues about Republicans and Democrats to everyone. If a person responds with a "no," then that inspires more discussion. How could seeing that a person loves pudding inspire you to tell them not to eat it?
I am determined to be the one pissed off, rather than the one doing the pissing off (lovely sentiment, I know). I am determined to listen to my inner voice telling me when it's time to shut up. I am determined to be the me that I would like to hang out with on any given day of the week. I am determined to change my personal behavior in order to be the man that I wish to be.
I argue that this goal is valiant. I suppose you could make an opposing statement, but I know we wouldn't get anywhere, so please accept that I view this goal as valiant.
So I decided I'm going to do it. Change. But for some reason everyone I knew and grew up with seems to be working against me. They aren't trying to. This is just how they're built, and why I used to fit in with them so well.
I tell people that I want to be a better person. They ask how. Okay. I tell them I want to be more accepting and tolerant. They ask how again. Okay. I tell them that I will stop arguing arguments that are over and will accept that a person may not know or care for a reason. I'm sure there's one there, but no one has to know it. Then they ask why. Not okay. Really? You have to ask why there doesn't have to be a reason? And better yet, why I want to be a better person? I just don't like people disliking me. I know there will always be people who will, but I'm sure I can make the number much smaller if I ask less questions that people don't want to hear or answer. I really don't need to know why a movie is considered good, as long as I know whether or not I like it. It is similar to how artists don't need to know how the forces of the universe work, as long as their paints still stick to their canvases.
I've only been doing it for a week now, and I've found myself much happier already. Instead of being frustrated that people won't agree with me and tell me I'm right, I'm happy that I don't have to hear them talk about things I would rather not listen to. Now the only frustration comes from knowing that I won't agree with someone, telling them so, and having them continue to tell me things I've already heard. I understand it now. People were always upset with me. I wouldn't stop. Now I'm upset at people who won't stop. I doesn't seem like it could be any more obvious or any less serendipitous. (By the way, that was sarcasm. It's quite the opposite of serendipity.)
I might note, for your convenience, that I haven't given up asking why. I haven't given up having an opinion. I just have to recognize when the other person doesn't care why or when that opinion isn't going to add anything to the equation. It would be like walking into a pudding shop and telling them that pudding sucks. You can say you don't like pudding, and they may ask you why you walked into a pudding shop, but they wouldn't dislike you. However, if you started telling them why they shouldn't eat pudding and how they're already fat slobs, then they'll get angry and not want to deal with you. I know people who do this very thing with politics. They just yell issues about Republicans and Democrats to everyone. If a person responds with a "no," then that inspires more discussion. How could seeing that a person loves pudding inspire you to tell them not to eat it?
I am determined to be the one pissed off, rather than the one doing the pissing off (lovely sentiment, I know). I am determined to listen to my inner voice telling me when it's time to shut up. I am determined to be the me that I would like to hang out with on any given day of the week. I am determined to change my personal behavior in order to be the man that I wish to be.
I argue that this goal is valiant. I suppose you could make an opposing statement, but I know we wouldn't get anywhere, so please accept that I view this goal as valiant.
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Interests
Do you know what frustrates me? My friends frustrate me. It isn't that they are annoying or that they try to spite me, but that they just don't seem to care about me. When one of them tells me something is good, I generally show some strong interest. Ben likes Borderlands and I actively tried to level my character so that I could play with him. It was me spending my own efforts to play nicely with others. Then I got Bioshock 2 and GTA4. I played them some, but went back to TF2 and League of Legends rather quickly. You know why? Because I wanted t play with my friends. Ben got Prototype and then played that for a good chunk of time. He only went back to TF2 when the engineer update went live, and I don't know how long that's going to last. I can't play single player games anymore because I feel bad when my friends are playing multiplayer games and I'm not. I don't know why I should but I do.
Now, this is great. I play what my friends suggest (not always, but a good chunk of the time) and I enjoy playing with them. However, when I find something cool or fun, it is not often that they enjoy playing that with me. In fact, often they won't even try it. I've been noticing this more and more with my college friends, but it actually started with my brother. I was always disappointing that my brother was so presumptuous. Now, I couldn't help that he was my brother, so I would just go play on my own or with my friends. Now that I'm having the same issue with my friends, I don't know what to do. If my friends really just assume that they don't like what I suggest to them, then I don't think I want to hang out with them quite so much. And on top of that I like hanging out with people who share my interests.
It extends to more than just games too. In food, they will not try things I say I like. I don't mean that they've tried it before and I'm trying to make them give it a second shot. I mean that they've never tried it before, and they really aren't going to change their minds no matter what I say. This means I end up always going where they want to go, eating what they want to eat, and doing what they want to do. I wonder if I'll ever be able to enjoy myself when hanging out with them. I mean, even when we all decide we want to play TF2, we play on the maps they want to play on. Chelsea won't even try new maps now that she's found the ones she likes and Ben finds excuse in the fact that he's playing a map that's on my favorites list. I think they don't understand that I like variety. Just because some map is on my favorites list doesn't mean that's the map I want to play right now.
There's yet another thing that bothers me. They don't like variety. Once they've found something they like, they stick to it. I'm not saying that determinism is a bad thing, but try new things. That's how you might find something better than what you had before. So what if it's bad? Then you know not to try that next time. I certainly hope they aren't opposed to change. Wait, that's silly. They are opposed to change if they won't try anything new. This means that Joss Whedon will always be the best TV script writer ever. This is just not the case. He is very good and may be one of the best for a very long time, but nothing guarantees his position for all of time. Trying new things is incredibly important. That is how society advances. Would you all still be thrilled if televisions were still in black and white? Would the world be dandy if no one ever thought to make a video screen because we already have the radio? Be happy with what you have, but aspire to greater things. This aspiration is what improves. It makes things better.
Then the worst part is that my friends either push these few things they love onto me, or they don't even mention them. I want them mentioned, but I don't want to feel forced. What would happen if I don't share your love? Would you be upset? I know I would. However if you introduce them to me then I might share your love. I can't if you don't let me try. Unfortunately, I don't see my friend's thinking or feeling that way.
So there they are, set in their solid paths, which is by no means a bad thing. And I, though not of the most friendly nature, am the outgoing one. I'm the one that is pushed to try new things and to force my friends to share them if I even want them to try something new. Or if I myself want to try something new, since I'm always persuaded to their will.
Now, this is great. I play what my friends suggest (not always, but a good chunk of the time) and I enjoy playing with them. However, when I find something cool or fun, it is not often that they enjoy playing that with me. In fact, often they won't even try it. I've been noticing this more and more with my college friends, but it actually started with my brother. I was always disappointing that my brother was so presumptuous. Now, I couldn't help that he was my brother, so I would just go play on my own or with my friends. Now that I'm having the same issue with my friends, I don't know what to do. If my friends really just assume that they don't like what I suggest to them, then I don't think I want to hang out with them quite so much. And on top of that I like hanging out with people who share my interests.
It extends to more than just games too. In food, they will not try things I say I like. I don't mean that they've tried it before and I'm trying to make them give it a second shot. I mean that they've never tried it before, and they really aren't going to change their minds no matter what I say. This means I end up always going where they want to go, eating what they want to eat, and doing what they want to do. I wonder if I'll ever be able to enjoy myself when hanging out with them. I mean, even when we all decide we want to play TF2, we play on the maps they want to play on. Chelsea won't even try new maps now that she's found the ones she likes and Ben finds excuse in the fact that he's playing a map that's on my favorites list. I think they don't understand that I like variety. Just because some map is on my favorites list doesn't mean that's the map I want to play right now.
There's yet another thing that bothers me. They don't like variety. Once they've found something they like, they stick to it. I'm not saying that determinism is a bad thing, but try new things. That's how you might find something better than what you had before. So what if it's bad? Then you know not to try that next time. I certainly hope they aren't opposed to change. Wait, that's silly. They are opposed to change if they won't try anything new. This means that Joss Whedon will always be the best TV script writer ever. This is just not the case. He is very good and may be one of the best for a very long time, but nothing guarantees his position for all of time. Trying new things is incredibly important. That is how society advances. Would you all still be thrilled if televisions were still in black and white? Would the world be dandy if no one ever thought to make a video screen because we already have the radio? Be happy with what you have, but aspire to greater things. This aspiration is what improves. It makes things better.
Then the worst part is that my friends either push these few things they love onto me, or they don't even mention them. I want them mentioned, but I don't want to feel forced. What would happen if I don't share your love? Would you be upset? I know I would. However if you introduce them to me then I might share your love. I can't if you don't let me try. Unfortunately, I don't see my friend's thinking or feeling that way.
So there they are, set in their solid paths, which is by no means a bad thing. And I, though not of the most friendly nature, am the outgoing one. I'm the one that is pushed to try new things and to force my friends to share them if I even want them to try something new. Or if I myself want to try something new, since I'm always persuaded to their will.
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