Flowing

There are two ways to do things. You can plan them out, or you can just let them flow. I truthfully couldn't think of anything to write about, so here I'm just letting it flow. I think it has something to do with the music I'm listening to. Listening to music apparently makes acting without thinking a lot easier. I sit here at work swaying it my chair. I'm only in my chair because of this blog post. Otherwise I would be standing at the counter, prepping some shirts for pressing. I don't have the words that I need to press onto the shirts, so it isn't that important to prep them. Regardless...

This how many of my poems are. They are unplanned. In fact, most of my writing is unplanned. Even with an outline, I still generally don't know what comes next. I don't build up to a specific point, but rather build upon what's already written. That may be why my writing seems to have little structure. Because... it does...

Anyways, if my writing is so unstructured, then why is my speech and analysis so step by step? I really need to just, throw my thoughts to the wind. I need to randomly blurt out about avocados (they are tasty) and all the thoughts that come to my mind. Did you know that I can memorize song lyrics in just the first listen? Someone told me they could do this, and I said "okay." They looked insulted and told me that I should be impressed. Most of my friends can do that. Is it really impressive? I guess it is. I should take this on the road. I'm a very lyrical person when it comes to songs. I care about what they're saying just as much as I care about the method with which they are saying it. Guitars are awesome. Drums are awesome. Vocal chords are awesome. But there is something about the way that the brain puts together words that outpaces any staff of notes. The number of thoughts that a single line can be made of is incomparable to the few number of notes in one octave. So why is musicality so important? Harmony, pitch, and tone all convince the person to actually listen to the words that you're saying. Otherwise they just trash them. This is what notes are to me. They are a carrier for words. They act as a chip does for salsa. The chip has a taste, but would you ignore that taste if it meant you could experience the taste of salsa? Some people say yes. Others say no. I guess it's an interesting question, because it is so absolutely subjective that it seems pointless to even try to argue. Then why bring it up? I find that the unanswerable questions are the ones I want to hear. I don't want to answer them. I just want to know them. I like questions. (See? No structure.) I like thinking about things and pondering. I do know, that knowing the answer opens my eyes, but also that not knowing the answer used to frustrate me, while now it's the asking I care about, rather than the answering. In fact, maybe not even the asking, but the inquisition. They are distinguished to me. One requires verbal expression of an expression. The other does not. I don't know if I'm defining them improperly, nor do I really care one way or another.

It is unlikely that there will be a day when I stop being curious. However, not asking a question doesn't torture me. It just means that the people around me can't join in on the discussion. Then again, can you really join in on my internet discussions? (I know you don't actually leave comments and I don't care whether or not you do. This is for me and not for you.) Maybe it's just the expression, and not the response to said expression, that makes a difference. Actually, I like having readers too, so please distribute this blog as much as you can between all the people you know.

Also, structure. It doesn't exist when I write.