Change

Surprisingly enough, many people are told their flaws on a daily basis, but many ignore them or hear them and just do nothing about it. They know that no one should be that peppy and another high five would just make everyone around them explode. They know that their toes have a frequented vacation home next to their tonsils. They know that they grate certain people just a little too much, but then decide that they didn't really want blood on their pasta after all. But they don't change.

So I decided I'm going to do it. Change. But for some reason everyone I knew and grew up with seems to be working against me. They aren't trying to. This is just how they're built, and why I used to fit in with them so well.

I tell people that I want to be a better person. They ask how. Okay. I tell them I want to be more accepting and tolerant. They ask how again. Okay. I tell them that I will stop arguing arguments that are over and will accept that a person may not know or care for a reason. I'm sure there's one there, but no one has to know it. Then they ask why. Not okay. Really? You have to ask why there doesn't have to be a reason? And better yet, why I want to be a better person? I just don't like people disliking me. I know there will always be people who will, but I'm sure I can make the number much smaller if I ask less questions that people don't want to hear or answer. I really don't need to know why a movie is considered good, as long as I know whether or not I like it. It is similar to how artists don't need to know how the forces of the universe work, as long as their paints still stick to their canvases.

I've only been doing it for a week now, and I've found myself much happier already. Instead of being frustrated that people won't agree with me and tell me I'm right, I'm happy that I don't have to hear them talk about things I would rather not listen to. Now the only frustration comes from knowing that I won't agree with someone, telling them so, and having them continue to tell me things I've already heard. I understand it now. People were always upset with me. I wouldn't stop. Now I'm upset at people who won't stop. I doesn't seem like it could be any more obvious or any less serendipitous. (By the way, that was sarcasm. It's quite the opposite of serendipity.)

I might note, for your convenience, that I haven't given up asking why. I haven't given up having an opinion. I just have to recognize when the other person doesn't care why or when that opinion isn't going to add anything to the equation. It would be like walking into a pudding shop and telling them that pudding sucks. You can say you don't like pudding, and they may ask you why you walked into a pudding shop, but they wouldn't dislike you. However, if you started telling them why they shouldn't eat pudding and how they're already fat slobs, then they'll get angry and not want to deal with you. I know people who do this very thing with politics. They just yell issues about Republicans and Democrats to everyone. If a person responds with a "no," then that inspires more discussion. How could seeing that a person loves pudding inspire you to tell them not to eat it?

I am determined to be the one pissed off, rather than the one doing the pissing off (lovely sentiment, I know). I am determined to listen to my inner voice telling me when it's time to shut up. I am determined to be the me that I would like to hang out with on any given day of the week. I am determined to change my personal behavior in order to be the man that I wish to be.

I argue that this goal is valiant. I suppose you could make an opposing statement, but I know we wouldn't get anywhere, so please accept that I view this goal as valiant.