I Give Up

I'm frustrated. I'm upset. I can't believe how apathetic everyone is. I guess it should be attributed to everyone being self-centered. I love my friends, but they can only assume I'm sleepy. I'm really not sleepy. I'm sad and upset.

How is it then she can drive 3 hours and then not even sit next to me? Well, she has to set up her knitting. Ok. Now that's done. Then what? Well, to the chip bowl. Ok. She's hungry. Then story time with the friends that she had three hours with in the car. But she doesn't have anything to say to me. I see. Ok. And then. Now it's the internet. She's not even noticing that I'm typing. No one is. I have no fear of insulting my friends within eye-shot because I know they don't care enough to look over.

They even ignore the words that come out of my mouth. I talk and no one hears. Am I even here? I think sometimes that I'm not. And even when I am, my opinions aren't.

So... she doesn't tell me that she cuts her hair. She tells Ben. I ask her if there's anything new and she doesn't mention it on the phone. Does she not want me to know? No. I doubt that. She doesn't care if I know? Much more likely. It really isn't hard to call or text or instant message maybe once a week. I would call once a day if I didn't think she would hate me for it.

I just want to know. Why can't they show that they care? I feel really broody sometimes. Maybe it's because I just watched a ton of Angel... I hope it's because I just watched a ton of Angel.

Argh...

EDIT:
Lukas does not censor his own work, but must note that hindsight is 20/20. She was debating breaking up with me during this time period. I would have avoided me too. I certainly wouldn't want to cuddle with someone who pissed me off for a month and didn't even look sorry for it.